Internets, what is up? What is up with me is that I am making chili con carne that is WORLD FAMOUS (in my stomach). And since the very best chili has to simmer for a while and then sit for a while more to allow for flavour mixing, I cannot eat it for hours.

So I need something to do for hours, and while obviously "play WoW" and "read Hyperbole and a Half until my eyes fall out" are valiant contenders, I have decided to write you the post that was runner-up in my recent poll, ie, "The Dismantling Of A Second-Hand Bookstore; Also, Zombies."

My friends had a lovely second-hand bookstore called City Basement Books. Unfortunately, the lease ran out and they had to move to a location that remains undisclosed because they haven't found it yet. They decided they would sort out a bunch of the books to keep, and the rest they would either toss or take to the paper mill.

The important thing to note about the bookstore name is the word "Basement".

MY FRIENDS: We need helper monkeys to put books into boxes, cart heavy boxes up stairs, and empty said boxes into a skip. For hours.
ME: Enh.
MY FRIENDS: Also, to take apart bookshelves with the application of brute force.
ME: That is relevant to my interests...
MY FRIENDS: You can take home all the books you want!
ME: I AM THE HELPEREST HELPER MONKEY THAT EVER HELPED. PICK ME! PICK MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
MY THIGHS: Oh sweet Jesus.

Now, Melbourne is one of only two UNESCO Cities of Literature. And since they live in a UNESCO City of Literature, Melbourne's high-minded denizens naturally gathered in a massive group three deep around the skip to paw through it from early morning until late into the night, in order to claim FREE BOOKS. From the garbage.



I bet you thought I was kidding about the zombies.

But no, internets, as it happened there was a zombie walk that weekend, and when it ended, the gruesome undead sifted through the abandoned books, until, to my hysterical delight, one girl in a torn and bloodied netball uniform clambered onto the pile, triumphantly holding aloft a novel.

"BOOOOOOOOOKS," she intoned. "BOOOOOOOOOOOKS."

That was pretty much the highlight of not only the day, but, let's face it, my entire life. Nevertheless, there are more pictures below!




One of the volunteers is afraid of dolls. Naturally, when we discovered a huge pile of craft magazines with creepy doll covers, we had to put them in a number of cunning locations to help her face her fears.





This isn't even, like, a tenth of them.





Seriously. See how those shelves are in layers four deep? Now imagine a lot more shelves. Now imagine all those shelves filled with books. Now imagine you have to carry the books up some stairs.





Aragorn son of Arathorn guards the precious books deemed worthy of rescue.





Claire applies sweet reason to this chair.





I told Sharon that staking was for vampires, not zombies, but she pointed out that a) we had no shotguns or chainsaws and b) stakes are totally badass.





About half of the books I saved for my ownself.





This book, entitled Irish Wit and Wisdom, is only 62 pages long, and I took this picture solely so that I could make a post relating this interesting fact to sarahtales.

Life's ambition thus satisfied, I will go and eat my awesome* chili!


* THE CHILI WAS NOT AWESOME. Oh the cruel twists of karmic backlash!