frustratedNow, my love of William Shatner/Captain Kirk is widely known to be epic and unf-making, equalled only by my need to have Leonard Nimoy/Spock come and party in my pants. HOWEVER. As I sat there, watching this episode and loving on Scotty, it occurred to me that I have yet to see a
DOOHAN!SCOTTY APPRECIATION POST
I refuse to believe I'm the only person who thinks he's adorable/pretty damn' sexy. There is, rightly, lots of love for DeForest Kelley on here, but the OT3 does expand into a glorious OT4, and SCOTTY NEEDS LOVE.
Post your Doohan!Scotty photos/gifs/macros/whatever! Mine are below. He clearly needs a GQMF macro thingy, by the way, if anyone could manage that.
( Doohan and/or Scotty, BEING A GQMF )
- Mood:
accomplished
A couple of weekends ago at ReaderCon I got the chance to see the newest issue of Realms of Fantasy, the magazine that, earlier this year, was canceled by the company that owned it. Publisher Warren Lapine bought the magazine because he saw that there was a groundswell of online activism around saving it. RoF is now reborn.
Here’s the cover, in case you haven’t seen it:
Someone also sent me a link to an image that’s going to appear in a forthcoming issue as art for a specific story.
For many years now — certainly since I started reading Realms, something I talk about here — the magazine has had a tendency to put some rather strange things on their covers. A lot of chicks in chainmail-type images when its not movie or television promo shots. I hear tell that these increase newsstand sales and I don’t doubt it. It can be really tiresome to look at year after year. But hey, people gotta eat.
So when I saw the new cover I wasn’t exactly surprised. I hear the nipples had to be taken out in order to make it newsstand-worthy; also not surprising. Realms has always had this tendency to put women in provocative clothing/poses/etc. on the front even though that kind of thing appeals more to men. I just don’t get it.
Warren Lapine was at ReaderCon handing out free copies of the magazine. We were both at the same party on Saturday night, so I took the opportunity to ask him a question that had been burning in my mind. What follows is an actual conversation I had with Lapine, transcribed from my memory, so there’s lots of paraphrasing and such.
Me: So, Warren, I was wondering: now that Realms is under new management and all, when are we going to see some male asses on the cover?
Warren: (raucous laughter)
Me: Because it seems like you’ve got the whole naked women thing down and the boob thing down, so how about some equal time?
Warren: That’s a good question. We should ask our new Art Director. Doug, c’mere for a second!
Doug [Cohen]: Yeah?
Me: (giving my full attention to Doug) I was just wondering when we’d see some male asses on the cover of Realms. Or even some penises?
Warren: (still highly amused) We’re not allowed to put penises on the cover, though.
Me: Makes sense. But inside, then. Because you’ve got plenty of boobs. Fish-girl boobs and nipple-less boobs and snake-woman boobs and boobs and more boobs.
Doug: (looking like he wants to shove a knife in my eye)
Me: I think it would do the magazine good to have some nice male asses around, don’t you? Or even: a shot from behind of a well-toned guy with him looking over his shoulder and a Fabio face or something.
Warren: (more laughter) I was just about to say! (turning to Doug) Our readership is, what, 4-1 female…
Me: Right! (to Doug) Don’t you think this is a good idea?
Doug: It sounds like a Tempest idea.
Me: Right, because it’s awesome! Another thing, maybe you don’t need so many boobs out there. Women in nice outfits works. You do know that women wear clothing most of the time, don’t you, Doug?
Doug: I know it now.
[I will pause here to note that I was unsure whether Cohen was trying to imply that I’d enlightened him on this fact because he’s been living in some dark cave most of his life or that he so very often sees women undressed that this was news to him. I’ll leave it to you to decide.]
Warren: Well, I was in a hair band in the 80s, and back then it sure didn’t seem like they did.
(so much laughter! OH HOHO! Also, I am given credit for ‘having a sense of humor’ because I laughed. …)
The conversation went on in this vein for a little longer, all the while certain parties not appreciating my suggestions. I think I especially riled someone when I asked if Realms had a monthly boob quota sheet in the office somewhere. But honestly, I wonder.
I overheard Warren and Doug talking about the issue together a little while later and got the impression that Warren felt I had a valid point and Doug felt that I initiated the conversation just to annoy him. Nevermind that I didn’t initiate the conversation with him; I went to the person with the power to decide stuff.
Anyway, time will tell if we get to see some male cheesecake on the cover. If we want it more inside the magazine obviously someone is going to have to step up and write some stories that call for it. Thus is my challenge to you, fantasy writers. Go to it!
Wait for it – it gets better.
I have no "steady" salon and have switched around a lot over the years and this visit was the latest of my 31 flavors. (As I haven't done much more than trim my hair until recently, this has been a long and lazy process.) The tiny space tucked in a small strip mall was brazen and loud and within five minutes, I debated asking them to please shut off the horrible music, but not wanting to be impolite, I bore it without grinning. The talk was stilted, the atmosphere grating, and I'd pretty much written this place off as I flipped through some rag magazine while I waited for it to be over when everything changed.
It hit me as I was getting my hair washed by some stranger from Dublin that I would be back despite the awkward conversation, the bad music, and the glaring light fixtures because the scalp massage portion of our show was worth whatever price they were quoting. Doubled. Long, slow circles worked the shampoo through my hair and took extra time at the back of the neck and the crown of my head. The water sluiced through all too soon and then it started all over again with the conditioning rinse. I kept my eyes closed and relaxed for the first time in weeks. I was in heaven.
This, my friends, was the payoff.
And, of course, the part of my brain that wasn't languishing in hedonistic glory attached that one errant thought to writing because, well, I'm a geek that way. When I pick up a book, I'm looking for the payoff – my payoff: the thing that makes it a worthwhile read. It may be escapism, the beauty of language, a great laugh, a good cry, a total mindscrew, a new twist on an old idea or an old familiar friend. I'm looking to scratch a particular itch and I'll either hit it or I won't, and if the payoff's there for me, you bet I'll be first in line for the next book out by that author. If all I want is the memorable character with the quirks that won't quit, I'll forgive the scant descriptors, the meandering plot, the tropes or clichés or overdone passive voice. I want what I want and I'm aiming for the payoff. The satisfaction that we can deliver that one thing to the readers who want our particular kink is what we're after as writers.
Unfortunately, we can't always guess what the payoff will be for every reader because tastes change and "like" is subjective, but there are a few things that I believe we're all looking for: some connection to our characters, a purpose to the plot, a little action, a little surprise, and at least one or two things (be they characters, ideas or turns of phrases) that stick in our minds. The cost might be our darlings, that painstaking amount of research to make the world-building just right, or our favorite line that cinched a subtle subplot that nobody noticed. The aim is the payoff, everything else can be forgiven.
I left with okay hair, dripping and wet, and included a generous tip.
Like strong fingers on a tired scalp, the payoff is worth the cost every time.
- Mood:
contemplative
Where does this stuff come from?
- Mood:
contemplative
WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE HAPPENED DURING LUNCH HOUR TODAY OR SOMETHING?????
O ALSO
MY MOM WON'T LET ME GO TO THE CARNIVAL IN FINLEYVILLE AND IT'S REALLY TICKING ME OFF
P.S.
LOMH SUCKS COCKS IN HELL
- Location:THE BORING DAMN OFFICE
- Mood:
aggravated
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July 20th, 2009: This alliteration-loving article about the cephalopod menace makes me say one thing: I TOLD YOU SO – Ryan | |||
Bimbette #1: So then I found out he hooked up with Amy while I was peeing in the bathroom.
Bimbette #2: Did you still sleep with him?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, of course! Why should I let her have all the fun? I just don't know what to do now, though cause I feel like I had her sloppy seconds.
Random lady sitting in front of them: Girls can you shut the hell up already? I'm trying to enjoy a quiet train ride home. No one here cares who you slept with, we all know you're gonna be with a different guy next week, anyway.
(girls jump up and run out of train car, one in tears)
--Penn Station
Overheard by: Couldn't hold back the laughs
The Lad has just hatched one of these Growing Lizard Egg Pets, which he bought with five dollars of his pocket money on an outing at the Gingin Gravity Discovery Centre.
We submerged it in a bowl of water, and watched it closely for four days. The lizard slooooowly cracked the egg (note: this was extremely exciting), poked its nose out of the top, then expanded and expanded until it was completely out of the egg.
The lad now has a slightly slimy plastic lizard. I asked him how he thinks it works, and he thought for a while, then he said:
"I have NO idea. It came from the planetarium! Anything could happen about it, because it's within SCIENCE!"
This entry was originally posted at http://lauredhel.dreamwidth.org/383223.h
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