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Hello, there

Hi, internets!

I'm back! I graduated early! That means I get three months to look for teaching jobs and write a book and sleep and bake and and BLOG and all those good things. I was thinking about some sort of Grand Return Post, and then I decided that no, the more I thought about one of those the less likely I was to write it.

So here is a brief observation for you: my sister is a filthy liar. She talked me into coming to a Body Balance class at the gym today, promising fun times and nothing I would hate. I am fat and stretchy, so low-impact "let's hold a position for a while and breathe!" stuff sounded good. And indeed, it was super fun until:

Instructor (who taught me PE in high school; my hometown is a small town): "And now for the ab work!"

Me, not at all quietly: "I'm going to kill you."

My sister: *wide, delighted grin*

I hate working my abs, and she knew it. I hate ab exercise more than any form of exercise, and I have quite a lot of hatred for many forms of exercise. Ab work HURTS. I can't seem to do any form of lifting without straining at my neck and shoulders, and those are parts that are already high-tension wire level strained. (Don't give me advice on this, btw. I know you'd mean it well, but I have bona fide expert advice from said filthy lying sister). And then my abs themselves are not strong, and have to move quite a lot of me, and all in all, it's a painful time of torment.

Anyway, I grimly flailed my way through about half of each ab exercise, and spent the rest of each one on my back, fighting to breathe and wondering if I could write a good book about a teenage sororicide.

I decided that I could.

This entry was originally posted at http://karenhealey.dreamwidth.org/69595.html. You can comment here, at Dreamwidth using OpenID, or at my website, karenhealey.com


( 8 — comment )
Oct. 31st, 2013 07:37 am (UTC)
Ha, I remember Body Balance being originated when I went to Les Mills in the 1990s! And now they've spread their abs torture internationally - er, yay? Those things are tough: I remember doing my first advanced Body Attack class and having to drive home slumped over the steering wheel. If you got through even half of the abs work from a standing start that's a pretty sterling performance.
Oct. 31st, 2013 09:06 am (UTC)
Welcome back! I've missed you.
Oct. 31st, 2013 11:10 am (UTC)
Congratulations! \o/
Oct. 31st, 2013 06:54 pm (UTC)
Ah, what a great answer to the "where do you get your ideas" question!

Welcome back, and congratulations on graduating early! Good luck with the job hunt.
Nov. 1st, 2013 10:06 am (UTC)
Hi hi! It's good to hear from you! I hope you have since gotten off your back and set about determining your murder weapon/method.
Nov. 1st, 2013 01:04 pm (UTC)
Flailing your way halfway through each exercise is perfectly acceptable! You have to modify to whatever level is right for you. There are lots of people who probably couldn't even do one rep of each exercise! I've been certified as a Pilates instructor, and I've been to plenty of classes where I spent most of the time lying on my back trying to recover.

That said, I would love to read a book about sororicide.
Nov. 2nd, 2013 09:25 pm (UTC)

I am fat and less stretchy than originally, with the upper body strength of the weakest thing you can think of, but I have fairly good abs beneath the fat, and I honestly reckon the best thing you can do to strengthen them is walk around with them lightly engaged *at all times*. That and bellydance. Neither of which requires lying down or lifting any damn thing. TAKE THAT, Les Mills!!!
Nov. 3rd, 2013 02:33 pm (UTC)
( 8 — comment )